I can’t believe it’s been 6 years since my mom died, and yet it also seems like a lifetime. I’ve missed her so much, and I’ve also learned a lot. So in remembrance of this sorrowful yet joyful occasion, here’s my letter to my mama on her 6-year anniversary in heaven!

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A Letter to My Mama on Her 6-Year Anniversary in Heaven

Hey Mama!

I feel like it’s been ages and yet I can’t believe it’s been 6 years since you moved on up! I miss you so much. I think about you every day, and there’s not a time when I don’t ask myself what you would do in a certain situation or what you would have to say.

Sometimes I feel pretty sure I know what you’d do or say, and other times I wish I could ask you. Tough situations are some of the times I find myself wanting to get your advice and wisdom.

But even more, I wish you were here to share in the happy times. I’m so thankful that you always looked for moments of laughter and amusement even in trying times, and that’s taught me to do the same.

I never thought I would lose you so soon, and there’s so much more I wanted to share with you!

A Letter to My Mama on Her 6-Year Anniversary in Heaven | letter to my mom | mom in heaven | mom died | miss mom | letter to heaven | anniversary of death | #letter #lettertomom #lettertoheaven #missingmom #mominheaven #anniversary

So many more trips to Sam’s, trips to Target, birthdays, Christmases, and—our favorite—Thanksgivings. Watching QVC deals together, just sitting and talking, going to church together, and visiting Grandma.

I know you would be proud of and happy for me and Caleb on our upcoming 10th wedding anniversary! I want you to know he’s just as wonderful as he was the day we were married.

No—that’s not quite true. He’s even more wonderful now. I wish you could know all the things he’s done for me!

He was with me through the months of pain before my second endometriosis surgery, and he helped me do everything for 2 weeks after when I needed help walking and maneuvering with a catheter.

He was the one who was there for me when I quit my job. He’s supported my desire to stay home and to start a blog. And he’s been supportive of our strict budget so that we could make those things possible.

He was the one who held me up while you were sick. He was the one who let me sob into his shoulder until his shirt was wringing wet the night you died.

He was there for all the “firsts” without you. And I can truly say I love him more than anyone in all the world. He’s my very best friend and my very best favorite.

I wasn’t always able to say that. When you were still here, we hadn’t been married that long and we hadn’t been through the things we’ve been through now. And you were still my best friend. But now it’s my husband who holds that place, and I like to think you’d be proud of me for that.

He loves me dearly and takes care of me, and I love him so and am proud to be his wife. We communicate well and make a good team.

Wanna hear something funny? I don’t think to visit your grave or place flowers on it often at all. When I think about it I do, but it’s mostly for our other family members, so that they know I care about you and miss you.

I don’t do it for you, cause you ain’t there. Lol. I know you’d have a laugh at that, and I know you felt the same way about it. But it is a nice thing to do once in a blue moon.

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Mama, can you believe that the Squishy Pug is still trucking along? We got her the same summer you got sick, and she’ll be 16 years old in just about a week. She’s so smart, Mama!

She knows so many phrases, and even though she’s nearly bedridden now, she’s still as spunky as ever. She loves to go for car rides and gets excited to see Caleb when comes home. She’s such a good girl.

So about that comment up there… the part about me quitting my job… Yep. That was a thing. I quit interpreting 2 years ago and I’ve never been happier. I’ve never felt better either. I have so many fewer days of being sick because of endo since I’m not running myself ragged.

I never thought it was possible, but God has provided.

I wonder what you would think of my blog. Can you believe I started a blog? Do you even know what that is? Lol. They’ve changed a bit over the years. It’s not just like writing a diary anymore, it’s sharing things that help people.

My blog is called Liv By Grace. I like to think you’d find it cute.

The grace of God has impacted my life SO MUCH. Especially since you died.

I’ve had to place my trust in God so much in so many ways. Dealing with the pain of losing you, the grief and the sorrow… I probably would’ve starved myself to death if it hadn’t been for getting to know the Lord more over the last couple of years before you died.

I truly believe He didn’t smite you with cancer. I truly believe His will is to heal. He healed you ultimately by taking you home, and that’s the attitude I have to have about it.

I know there were other reasons and things going on with you, but I can’t dwell on those. I think you’d be proud of me for learning that too.

There are a lot of lessons that I’m continuing to learn from the whole experiences of your illness, your suffering, your death, and everything related to all of it.

And the biggest lesson I’m learning is to trust God above all.

He’s allowed me to see some of the good that’s He working out of what was meant for evil, and for that I’m so grateful.

A Letter to My Mama on Her 6-Year Anniversary in Heaven | letter to my mom | mom in heaven | mom died | miss mom | letter to heaven | anniversary of death | #letter #lettertomom #lettertoheaven #missingmom #mominheaven #anniversary

Mama, if you were here, I would’ve given you so many hugs by now! Let’s see, if I’d only seen you 3 times a week—and it probably would’ve been more—that would be at least 2,000 hugs we’ve missed. But there’ll be plenty of time to make up for that when I get to heaven someday.

And guess what, guess what? Six years ago I had 2 nieces and 1 nephew on the way, but now I have 6 and a 7th arriving next month! But I’m guessing you already knew that. I’ll bet you got to meet them in heaven before they were born.

Sometimes I still think about calling you for a split second. I’ll wonder about something and ask myself, “Why haven’t I talked to Mom about that? She would know.” And then I remember. That all goes through my mind as quick as a flash, but for a fraction of a second there, I can almost imagine you’re still here.

Sometimes I look out the front door and imagine you walking down to see me. If I try really hard, I can almost see you there, waving to me like you used to do. It’s times like that that you feel so far off.

It’s hard to look at the window, Ma. Every morning on my way to work, I’d look over at the window and there you’d be, waving a “good morning“ to me to start my day. After you were gone, I couldn’t look. I could barely drive by.

I’m so thankful I don’t have to drive by each morning and miss you there anymore. I fought the tears every time.

But I’ll never forget what you said to me not long before you died, sick in a hospital bed. You said that if you were to end up dying, you’d be more alive than you ever were. And I know it’s true. Thanks for always comforting me, even after you’re gone.

I love you so much, Mama! I wish I’d had more time with you. If you were here now I’d want to take care of you more and do more things for you. Give you more of my time and more of my efforts and more of my care.

I’d want to spoil you, too! Take you out to eat and get you treats and things you like. You did things like that for me so much, and it let me know how much you were thinking of me. I wish I could’ve done more of that for you.

I miss you so much, Mama. If I could have just another hug. But I’d always want just one more. I can’t wait to see you again! I’m gonna squeeze you so tight and press your cheek against mine so hard that you’ll complain and start laughing like you used to do.

I love you, Ma! You’re my very best favorite. And you have MME’s. You say you don’t, but I say you do! Pr324, Mama. I love you so x3.

xo Liv

P.S. Caleb and I went to Colorado! It’s beautiful!

A Letter to My Mama on Her 6-Year Anniversary in Heaven | letter to my mom | mom in heaven | mom died | miss mom | letter to heaven | anniversary of death | #letter #lettertomom #lettertoheaven #missingmom #mominheaven #anniversary

FAQ’s

I hope you enjoyed reading my letter to my mama on her 6-year anniversary in heaven! After writing it, I got to thinking that you might have some questions about some of the things I mentioned.

So here are a couple of the questions I’ve gotten in particular relating to my mom’s death, and a few more that apply just to this letter. I hope the answers might shed some light on how I’ve been able to deal with losing my mom.

How can you have sorrow and joy at the same time?

Here’s my super short answer to that: because sorrow is a feeling, and joy is a state of being.

I was (and am) by no means happy that my mom died. It was like a true punch in the gut when she passed. I didn’t know what to do or how to go on. I forgot to eat and drink. I felt no hunger. I felt no thirst.

My face felt lifeless and I could physically feel my face pulling downward from the grief. I’d had sadness before, but this was unlike anything I’d ever known.

And yet… there was joy.

Joy because I had 100% assurance I would see her again. I knew I would get to hug her again someday! I knew we would be reunited!

And that was not a feeling. It wasn’t a hope in the traditional sense of the word. It was A KNOWING. A reality just as real—if not more than—the existence of the sun, the moon, the earth we stand on, the air in my lungs.

The time I would have to wait until I’d get to be with her again was painful to fathom, but I knew it was only that, a matter of time.

The secret to happiness is this—understanding that happiness is a fleeting emotion, and that joy is a permanent state of being.

And the secret to having a true, undergirding, wholly encompassing, abiding joy is in knowing Jesus Christ.

If you long for joy, if you long for a relationship with your Creator God, find out how to have this deep and lasting joy for yourself here!

And if you’ve never heard about what happens to you after you die, or the real truth of who Jesus is, find out now.

A Letter to My Mama on Her 6-Year Anniversary in Heaven | letter to my mom | mom in heaven | mom died | miss mom | letter to heaven | anniversary of death | #letter #lettertomom #lettertoheaven #missingmom #mominheaven #anniversary

How do you know your mom’s in heaven?

Because she’d accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. And yes. It’s really that simple.

When she was a teenager, she realized she was a sinner in need of saving, and she believed that Jesus is who He said He is. That He is the Son of God, that He came to earth as a man and lived a sin-free life and died on the cross, giving Himself up as the sacrifice and payment for her sins, once and for all.

She believed that Jesus rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven, and she believed and trusted in Him personally, that He did it all for her.

And her life was a reflection of her beliefs. She cared about people, loved them, allowed the Holy Spirit to guide her, and the fruits of her life showed the presence of Jesus inside of her.

The Bible tells us that when we trust in Jesus as our Savior, our sins are forgiven, we’re cleansed from all unrighteousness, and someday Jesus will return to call us home to Heaven to be with Him and our Father God for all eternity.

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life. | John 3:16, AMPC

So let me ask you, my dear friend, where are you going when you die?

Not sure if you’ll go to Heaven? Get sure today.

What does Pr324 mean?

It’s a reference to a Bible verse:

When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. | Proverbs 3:24, KJV

Every night my mom and I would text each other goodnight, and we always ended with Pr324. It was our way of saying “sweet dreams.”

What are MME’s?

That’s something just for my mama. ?

What does x3 mean?

I love you so x3 means I love you so much, so dearly, and so ever.

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A Letter to My Mama on Her 6-Year Anniversary in Heaven | letter to my mom | mom in heaven | mom died | miss mom | letter to heaven | anniversary of death | #letter #lettertomom #lettertoheaven #missingmom #mominheaven #anniversary

A Letter to My Mama on Her 6-Year Anniversary in Heaven | letter to my mom | mom in heaven | mom died | miss mom | letter to heaven | anniversary of death | #letter #lettertomom #lettertoheaven #missingmom #mominheaven #anniversary

 

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